How strange that as the Co Founder of bdedhapi I find myself being one of the first to post a note regarding the funeral of my much loved and already missed stepfather, Duncan. I have been to so many funerals in my life but never like this one. It had its advantages and disadvantages.

The numbers at the crematorium were limited to 15 - it was like the politics of a wedding deciding who should be allowed to attend and who shouldn't. In the end 17 turned up but they were kind enough to let everyone in. Then there was the funeral car. The undertakers had only just started using these again. My stepbrother, Graham declined the offer as his sister-in-law is undergoing major treatment for cancer and as she has a low immune system and having to support her they did not want to chance infection.

Duncan had 2 send offs rather than one though because as the hearse arrived outside Mum and Duncan's house and we got into the funeral car around 20 neighbours and friends had gathered (at a distance) to pay their last respects. Mum felt like the queen waving to them and thanking them as tears fell down her face at their unexpected kindness. 

When we arrived at the crematorium (early as there was little traffic on the road) it was strange as family bubbles had collected and were grieving and we all wanted to hug each other but couldn't. We all sat at a distance some downstairs and some upstairs apart from mum, my sister and her son  and on the other side Graham and his wife and daughter. Graham did a wonderful eulogy and we all discovered something about Duncan we hadn't known. it was bizarre we were allowed to sing (and we did very loudly) when it will not be allowed in church when they resume their services soon!

The crematorium organised a video which we can share with family and friends unable to attend. How nice for us that we have a lasting memory of the service which meant so much to us.

Back to mum's garden for a socially distancing wake. There were more than 6 people but we rotated coming into the back garden from the road. We all tried to keep our distance but as the afternoon wore on and the wine flowed who knows whether we actually managed it. Nobody had a tape measure with them!