10 Helpful Tips When Choosing a Crematorium

You can choose whichever Crematorium you want in the UK and there are alot of options out there. We’ve put together this helpful guide on how to choose.

Crematorium
  1. The public often does not know that they have a choice when choosing the crematorium.  You do not need to choose your local crematorium and it is always worth looking around as some can be quite uninviting or maybe too modern for your taste.  Perhaps view a few to help you decide which one suits the memory of your loved one.
  2. Local authority-run crematoriums tend to be better valued than privately run crematoriums.
  3. Availability for booking a funeral is normally determined by the Funeral Director you choose.  If they have lots of bookings they won’t be able to fit your required timescale.  Don’t be afraid to shop around as another Funeral Director may have more capacity to enable your timescale to be met.  
  4. You do not have to stick with the funeral director that collects your loved ones.  You can choose who you want to entrust your loved one to .. do not be afraid to shop about.
  5. Pick music that reflects the person that has passed. Don’t be afraid of making the service about celebrating the person that has passed. It should be more about celebrating life rather than mourning the loss.
  6. Some crematoriums allow visual tributes so memories can be shared during the service.  Some also offer webcasting to accommodate family abroad, or if there is family that cannot attend on the day.  The webcasting is available for up to ten days online – copies of the webcast and visual tributes can also be purchased if required.
  7. It’s not just about remembering your loved ones at the funeral, there are so many more ways of remembering them. Did you know ashes can now be put into art as well as tattoos and jewellery; don’t be afraid to ask for this information whether it be the funeral director, funeral arranger or crematorium staff.
  8. A crematorium’s size. Some crematoria will be better set up for large or small services.
  9. Some crematoriums are relaxed and you can conduct your own service.. always ask if this is your preference. Most cremation will do what they can to accommodate.
  10. There are no stupid questions…… just ask whatever is on your mind.

Coutesy of Vinters Park Crematorium.

Maidstone.gov.uk

For more check out our Information Hub!

Organising a Vocalist

Here are a few points to consider when organising a vocalist for a Celebration Of Life event.

Organising a vocalist

Depending on the length of the Funeral Service, it is normally best to have a solo song of choice at integral parts of the service. Namely as entrance music when the coffin enters the Chapel or Church and maybe in the middle of the service at a reflective time or after the family eulogy. Finally, at the end as an exit song? It really does depend on the family though and what they require but mostly this format works well when organising a vocalist.  

The soloist can also offer to lead the Hymns too. At funerals people do not seem to sing up so much because of the nature of the service which is of course understandable.

People generally have a good idea of what sort of song they would like for the service; sometimes a song that the deceased liked or maybe something that reminds them of the person. An experienced soloist, however, should offer to help with making a choice, if you are undecided.

If you want some inspiration, try watching Rebecca Robinson in the studio recording ‘Bring him Home’ from the musical Les Miserables.

As a crossover artist, Rebecca’s performances wow audiences with the breadth of music she sings – there really is something for everyone! Regardless of whether she is singing to thousands or at a small, intimate gathering, Rebecca will engage with the audience and put her all into her performance. Her packages start at £200.

The link to her Celebration Of Life Page is here

Find out more at our Information Hub

Choosing a Coffin for a Loved One

Choosing a Coffin

Life is a journey and when we reach our final path we can choose what we take it in. Choosing a coffin that reflects that life journey is important and shows how best to reflect the funeral person.

It can seem overwhelming especially when upset and emotions are running high, but here at bdedhapi we can guide you through that process with helpful information and creative ideas to help you find what is right for you! 

With changing times and attitudes towards funerals, it would seem that this has opened the door to so many choices available to you. 

It’s important to consider your loved one and their past life when choosing a coffin and to take into consideration their wishes as well as their personal character.  

Coffins vary in design and material as well as cost. You will also need to consider what type of funeral you would like as this will affect your choice. 

How to Choose a Coffin

Below are some of the questions you will need to think about as well as some creative ideas to make your loved one’s final journey a fitting tribute to their life journey.  

1.Firstly coffin or casket? People often ask about the difference between a coffin and a casket.  This is simply the shape.  A coffin has six sides and a casket has four. The coffin is tapered at the head and foot which is  wider at the shoulders.  The casket however is a rectangular shape. Caskets are often used when displaying the body and sometimes are available in half couch (two lids) or full couch (one lid).  This will depend on whether you will be displaying all or some of the body.  

2.  Burial or cremation?  Choose your coffin/casket that is suited to either burial or cremation.  Remember nothing metal will be suitable for cremation including handles (although these can be removed beforehand).  For burials check whether there are any the vaults requirements as some cemeteries place the deceased and coffin in a concrete vault. 

3.   Coffins/caskets come in so many different materials, colours and prices ranging from wood, cardboard, plastic and even wool.  Eco coffins are very popular with unique designs.  

4.  Choose with your heart and be unique. Times are changing and being creative is on the rise. This is the time to show your loved one’s amazing life journey.  Families are now getting involved with decorating, colouring and leaving heartfelt messages within or on the coffin.  Was your loved one part of a team or group? Coffins cans be signed by team/group members.  Do you have a little artist in the family who could paint it? 

5.  You will need to know the size and weight of your loved one when placing your order. If you are using a funeral director they can liaise with the coffin supplier or you can always call them to discuss it. 

6. A funeral director will also give you direction when choosing a coffin/casket however people are now saving a considerable amount of money buying online and you should NOT be charged a handling fee by your chosen funeral directors if you choose to purchase a coffin directly from a supplier. Ordering online is now an easy process and no different than buying any other product using the web. 

For more head to our Information hub

End of life planning service – The Sunset Plan

A beautiful sun set, representing the memories of a special person at the end of their life.

The Sunset Plan’s practical end of life planning service, has launched a new online platform allowing people to upload, organise, store and share important information, wishes and memories

The ‘digital vault’, launched by the Wales-based company, modernises end of life planning, with the aim of protecting people and preparing their loved ones for the future.  

Traditionally, end of life planning services have centred around drafting wills, organising a Lasting Power of Attorney and estate planning for financial or legal purposes. However most people don’t make any further practical plans that can provide families with the detail they need when bereaved. 

With loved ones struggling to locate important paperwork, finding account details and knowing what to do with personal items, the administrative and practical burden that falls to families can be tough. 

This has exposed a gap in services that can support people with structured, end of life and legacy planning. The launch of The Sunset Plan’s digital vault platform bridges that gap, by helping customers identify what information they need to organise and capture, to relieve some of the stress for their friends and family when they’re no longer around. 

The legacy planning service enables future wishes and decisions to be recorded, and even allows you to store and share memories. Customers could also extend account access to other professional services that are involved in their end of life planning. This can help diffuse any future conflict and help manage relationships, as all personal, legal and financial documents will be securely stored in one place. 

The customer stays in control of their data and who can access it. Loved ones will have a clear road map to follow through with the deceased’s wishes and bring administrative closure to their life. 

There are two levels to the digital vault service. A free basic plan for simple data storage with categories including About me, Finances, Legal, Tax, Property & Vehicles and Legacy Planning. A Premium Plan is available which offers extra features such as storage and sharing options. The Premium plan is available for a monthly cost of £3.99 or £39.99 per year inclusive of VAT. 

The Sunset Plan website also has physical booklets and PDF templates for sale. These low-cost practical end of life planning tools may appeal to customers who prefer to purchase items as a one-off cost, to complete and keep at home. 

Founder Kerry Jones, who launched the company in early 2020, said “I myself have experienced many unexpected challenges in dealing with after-life matters following a family bereavement. The website was launched to provide a central directory of ‘how to’ resources focusing on dealing with admin tasks, which I found out first-hand can make a difficult time even more stressful.”

Coinciding with the outbreak of Coronavirus, Kerry received a keen interest from people of all ages across the world, who were suddenly thinking about their own mortality. The service received immediate attention due to the fresh and creative approach taken in discussing what has always been a taboo subject: death. Encouraging positive future planning has helped people feel more in control of their lives at a time of such global uncertainty. 

Kerry continued:

After experiencing the huge challenges with unravelling a life after death, you realise just how little people actually plan ahead. We spend so much time planning for life’s other major events, but many still struggle to deal with proactively planning for death. This exciting service will enable our clients to easily and securely prepare and protect their loved ones for the future.”

Why not start planning for the future by creating your Sunset Plan online today at thesunsetplan.com

For more information about The Sunset Plan, visit   https://thesunsetplan.com/ , email info@thesunsetplan.com or follow @thesunsetplan on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

For even more information on end of life planning visit our Information Hub: https://bdedhapi.com/knowledge-base/

The 5 Stages Of Grief

By Bdedhapi

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Denial

Denial helps us to lessen the overwhelming pain of loss. It can be very difficult to believe we have lost a loved one in our lives, especially when we have only recently been with this person just a few short hours ago. It can take our mind some time to come to terms with the reality of what has happened and we can become overwhelmed with how we are going to move forward in life without them.

Anger

Being angry is a common experience after the loss of a loved one and can allow an emotional outlet. When we are trying to adjust to our new reality, we can experience extreme emotion and discomfort. 

Bargaining

When faced with the unthinkable, you would do anything to stop the unbearable pain and fear of loosing a loved one. During loss we can therefore find ourselves bargaining and making deals with God. 

Depression 

Deep sadness can often lead to depression, not to mention the worry and stress connected to the funeral and costs. The regret of all the things we did or did not say can also weigh heavily on our minds. Not having the privilege of saying goodbye is another hard blow for the person left behind and this is another contributing factor to depression. 

Acceptance 

Accepting grief and loss is how we heal. Time has always been the great healer and we all reach that place in our own time. When death is sudden or unexpected we sometimes never see beyond our anger or denial, therefore acceptance can take some much longer.